Another Thought on Blessed...

Just another thought before I turn in for the night: It is a witness to my family when they see my friends helping me out in small ways during this time. On the flip side, it is also a witness when they see me reaching out and doing things for others...such as taking the 2 year old for an afternoon. But it is an even more powerful combination when they see both sides of the friendship taking turns helping each other out. It seems like such a natural thing to me, but it is not such a natural thing if you are used to seeing examples that always express a "me, me, me" (or very worldly) attitude.

Blessed

The other night I was journaling and I felt the Lord telling me that I needed to focus on the blessings that have occurred since I hurt my foot, and not focus on the things that "should've happened." After I made my list it was pretty impressive, and it was neat to see how varied it was. It wasn't just one or two people who have been helping me, but many different people. For the most part it has been my closest friends and family, but when I think about it, it's pretty awesome because our relationships and friendships are supposed to be 2 way streets, i.e. have a give and take aspect. What an encouragement it has been to see the fruit of my efforts in maintaining my close friendships. Tonight the 2 year old, 4 year old, and their mom dropped by for an unexpected short visit and to drop me some dinner. It was just an awesome blessing to sit and chat for a few minutes while the kids played. And an example to me of how the body of Christ is supposed to function--that we are supposed to help take care of one another and not let them flounder helplessly. At a time when I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be leaving my current fellowship or staying, blessings like these have been not only an encouragement, but also a reminder that the church body does exist and function outside of the four walls of the church.

Sunday Morning

It's a gray and dreary rainy morning, perfect for just sitting and reading, or just sitting, as the case may be. Skipped church this morning to sleep and rest, as well as spend some time just reading the Word. I've just finished 2 Samuel, and I'm working on Ephesians and Proverbs.

Fun proverb of the day:
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22

It's amazing how much can be said in one sentence! Enjoy!

New Camera!

So I received a digital camera for my birthday and was playing with it the other day. On the left you can see my lovely blue cast, which is complemented quite nicely with the Merrell sneaker on the right. Since my Merrells are practically brand new, it is my hope that the Vibram soles will prove their weight in gold and not get worn out from the crutches





Wednesday I was the height of fashion as I was able to coordinate my shirt with my cast. It was rather humorous as I didn't realize how well they matched until one of my esteemed colleagues pointed it out.


Yesterday I went back to the doctor for the two week check up. I made the mistake of going by myself and was sorely lacking in need of a second brain as I was feeling quite poorly and was not quite with it. I told the doctor that I was still having pain and that I had lost my balance Wednesday and as a result came down pretty hard on the bad leg. At first he said if there was still pain then we needed to leave the cast on. But when he found out that the pain was in a different spot, he decided to take off the cast. Then he gave me an aircast and said I needed to go in to therapy. But he never mentioned the new pain that I was experiencing, and I didn't think to ask again. So I got home and was in the most incredibly pain which last all of yesterday.

A friend took me back to the doctor, but by the time my doctor returned my phone call I had to go to the afterhours clinic. Well, it was probably not the most constructive use of our time, as she proceeded to tell me that what I was experiencing was the result of my sprained ankle. According to the orthopedic I hurt my peroneal tendon and sprained my midfoot. He never mentioned the ankle to me. So it sounded like she was trying to tell me that I sprained my ankle while I was in a cast, which is the strangest story I've heard.

But then as I was looking over my physical therapy prescription this morning, it says my diagnosis is left ankle and mid foot sprain, along with peroneal tendinitis. Go figure! Sometimes I wish I could get a straight story. So if that truly is the case and I did sprain my ankle when I fell and got the other two injuries, then I probably aggravated the ankle sprain Wednesday when I lost my balance getting out of the tub. This is my guess because my ankle is now more swollen than it ever was and is rather painful. My doctor said that if I still needed crutches by the middle of next week that we would have to recast it. My hope is that I will be able to get in to see the physical therapist (a person who has seen me before) soon and get a story that makes sense. I sprained my ankle pretty bad in 2004, so I really don't want to be messing around and not having it heal correctly. Well, that's the foot update for now. I'm signing off!

Pain and Frustration

I almost made it through 3 full days of work. It sounds strange, but I would've never guessed how much working with an injured leg would take out of me. I left an hour and a half early because I just couldn't do more teaching. Thankfully I moved a lesson earlier this morning to accommodate and ended up only missing one group. Ever since last night I've been in a lot of pain. Probably overdoing it, even though I've been keeping my leg up every possible moment while teaching. I think the problem is that because of orchestra rehearsals both Tuesday and today, I went from 6-9:30 with my foot down. Anyways, pain and frustration is the name of my game right now.

But it has been a good week of doing lessons and it has been a blessing seeing all of my kids. I'm incorporating the "building bricks" from Orff into orchestra and the kids are thrilled about it. Yeah for exciting teaching moments.

Loneliness

"When the morning falls on the farthest hill, I will sing His name, I will praise Him still. When dark trials come and my heart is filled, with the weight of doubt, I will praise Him still."
-Fernando Ortega

"And when I am alone, oh and when I am alone, when I am alone, give me Jesus."
-Give Me Jesus

I am finding that it truly is a sacrifice of praise to stop and acknowledge that He is still on the throne in the midst of my struggles, and that good will come out of this trial. If I don't stop and put it into perspective, than I find myself sinking into a dark pit of despair. There is no doubt about it, I am lonely. A deep set loneliness that I have not dealt with in a long time, because I am always going somewhere and doing something with someone. But strangely enough there is a peace in it--the Lord's grace I'm sure, because there is no way I can escape or run away from this loneliness--I am physically limited.

But in the midst of it this evening, I was reminded that while He was here on this earth, Jesus experienced loneliness; a loneliness so profound that we probably can not comprehend it. The King of the universe, dwelling on earth in a mortal body, surrounded by humans who "didn't get it," and separated from His Father.

Don't get me wrong, today was a good day. It was wonderful seeing everyone at church; holding the two year old and having him be thrilled to see me...but it was also a reminder of how limited I am right now in what I can do. When you are used to being a person who's constantly moving and usually serving...it is hard to just sit still and let someone else do the work. And not being able to pick up kids and carry them around is just plain strange!

But this too shall pass. Praise the Lord for that. Goodnight.

The Geek Strikes Again

So I'm going to a bass recorder workshop tomorrow. Not just a recorder workshop, but a bass recorder workshop. I'm thoroughly looking forward to it (with the exception of having to bring my left leg along), and the person running it is said to be a great teacher, so I have high hopes.

I finally got my Orff pictures organized, so perhaps I'll post a few Orff posts. I'm the one on the right--it looks like I'm eating my recorder, or that I've got it shoved up my face. Anyways....