Three Endings, a New Beginning

For the past few months I have been praying that the Lord would bring about a change in my life. Not necessarily anything specific, but just some sort of change, something different from the monotony that life can become. I guess I really didn't expect that the Lord would answer the prayer, but He has, in ways very different than I would've thought. The one change I did anticipate, completing my graduate work at Eastman, has finally come. Truthfully, it is a bittersweet ending as I am thankful to not have the coursework, but will miss working with Dr. Fox and spending time at Eastman. I am looking forward, however, to finally having the time just to sit in the library and read what I want to read, not what I need to read.

The two surprises were that through some pretty sad circumstances I am now looking for a new church and will no longer be teaching at my old church. Due to my ankle injury and needing to complete my master's degree, I put off starting my church teaching until January. I was looking forward to starting and already had many things planned out for the year, but was told that I was no longer able to teach there. The sad part is that this all came about because I responded honestly to a question that someone asked me. As I was forming my response, I knew that it could be my "downfall" per se, but I was so convicted that I needed to be truthful that I couldn't change my answer. It grieves me that we've gotten to a place in our fellowship where issues are not looked into and discussed before dismissing someone. If church can not be the place where a person can be open and honest, where we are encouraged to walk in the light as the Lord has called us to do, where do we turn?

As I was taking down things off of the walls the other day, I found myself thinking, "how many hours were put into creating the visuals...if people only knew." Today I packed up the rest of my stuff, five years worth of stuff. The worst part about it is knowing that now I would've finally had the time to plan and try out some things I learned over the summer. I know that the Lord has a plan in the midst of all this, but it grieves me that it has happened in such a way where so many people are affected and that it stands as a poor witness to the people in my life who don't know the Lord. The Bible does say to expect trials and tribulations, so perhaps I should not be surprised. Perhaps it is a sign that we are getting closer and closer to the Lord's return. Whatever the case, it truly saddens me that people inside the church can do more harm to fellow brothers and sisters than I have experienced outside in "the world." I do pray that the Lord would take care of this situation and bring conviction and healing where it is needed.

What will I do with my free time? Rest, spend time in the Word, go through and organize my teaching materials, prepare for a possible move, and catch up on all the visiting I have missed over the past two months. So...one step at a time, I'll keep moving forward. Have a goodnight!