Life Happens

Sometimes it feels like I just can't win. Revisions to my paper that I really should've had done a week ago got postponed because of concerts, a party, and a death in the family. So I set out planning on buckling down this past weekend to get it done. I got a good start Friday which was encouraging. Saturday came along with a family who needed emergency babysitting, and then my Grandma was taken to the hospital that night, aka, a very late night for all involved. Sunday brought a much needed nap and some small progress on the paper, and yesterday I spent all afternoon on it. I got everything done with the exception of one thing. So the plan today was to leave school right away and come home and work. I didn't get home until 6:00, sat down to eat dinner at 6:45 and got to my computer an hour later. By the time I got my computer booted up, I realized that it was almost 8:00 and I needed to get in the shower soon if I was going to get to bed in order to get up at 5:30 and start the whole cycle over again. Tomorrow I meet with my adviser who is expecting me to have it completely done. Unless the Lord works a miracle for me, it won't be done. It is super frustrating when you are actually trying not to procrastinate and instead it looks like the biggest procrastination plan ever thought of! Anyways, tomorrow I meet with my adviser, Thursday night is another concert, and the cycle continues. And lets not forget that report cards for 2 schools are due soon.

The Bible says that when we are weak, He is strong. I am supremely hoping that this will prove itself true as I am in the middle of navigating the craziest three weeks of the year.

A Day Off!

Boy am I thankful for a day off from school! I can't describe how nice it was not to set the alarm and then to be able to think through what needs to be done today. The down side is that running errands like going to the bank and getting gas takes twice as long because so many people had the same thought. I figured I'd stop and do a few errands before I got to the Eastman library, but those "few errands" took an hour and a half! Such as life I guess.

One other venting before I sign off and get to work on revising my paper: Eastman is now in summer mode, which means the library closes at 5:00 during the week and is closed on the weekends. If you only knew how much of a pain this is for a "summers only" Eastman student. (And not to mention that it is one of the few air conditioned places that are quiet )

That's all folks! More later!

This Time Every Year....

It is this time each year that things become extremely stressful and overwhelming for me. This is the third year in a row; it is the combination of concerts, teaching, and grad work. There is a defined pattern: January is hectic due to winter concerts, February provides much needed relief, in March things start to get hairy, and April-June is just none stop craziness. Spring break is nice, but two weeks later I am ready for another one!

I'm not quite sure how to explain the craziness, except partial results include being at school from 7 or 7:30 am-4 or 5 pm many nights. My day is supposed to end at 3 and it is rare that I leave when I actually leave at that time. Lately I have been coming home to either do grad work, plan for church, or take part in some commitment related to one of the above. My mid-week stuff is so busy that sometimes I literally crash when I get a day off and stay in bed reading most of the day. I realize that keeping a balance between working and resting is the key, but this is my 5th year trying to master it. Sometimes I just wonder if the Lord has me in a season where this is not necessarily possible. It does force me to depend on Him for my strength. After lunch is probably my lowest energy time of day, and the more stressed I get the less patience I have with the kids. Frustrations should not be carried between lesson groups, but today I found myself praying before each one came in, because it is so easy to take out my frustration on the incoming lesson group.

This is just a "step-by-step" season for me I guess, and it is something that I don't always succeed in--depending on the Lord for each step of the way. Even coming home from school is sometimes stressful because I don't want to interact with people anymore and I know that that is inevitable when you live with someone!

I know we weren't promised an easy life free of trials and tribulations, but sometimes I wish that in the midst of all this there could be a rest, a "get away from it all retreat down to the monastery" or something similar. In many ways I feel like I've reached my limit, the type of limit where if someone else asks me something music teaching related, I may just lose it. Granted this is not how the Lord would have me react, but sometimes that is my fleshly response. ah well....

Absolutely Exhausted.....

Well, I'm not sure what to write except for the fact that I am absolutely exhausted! Not sleeping well for a couple of nights, coupled with stressful days is not helping the situation. On a positive note, my graduate work is going well. My project is a survey of music education programs in Calvary Chapel Schools and the e-mails I have received from teachers have been enthusiastic about the project, so I am encouraged greatly in that area. The surveys were mailed late Monday afternoon and one of them has already reached California!