This Time Every Year....

It is this time each year that things become extremely stressful and overwhelming for me. This is the third year in a row; it is the combination of concerts, teaching, and grad work. There is a defined pattern: January is hectic due to winter concerts, February provides much needed relief, in March things start to get hairy, and April-June is just none stop craziness. Spring break is nice, but two weeks later I am ready for another one!

I'm not quite sure how to explain the craziness, except partial results include being at school from 7 or 7:30 am-4 or 5 pm many nights. My day is supposed to end at 3 and it is rare that I leave when I actually leave at that time. Lately I have been coming home to either do grad work, plan for church, or take part in some commitment related to one of the above. My mid-week stuff is so busy that sometimes I literally crash when I get a day off and stay in bed reading most of the day. I realize that keeping a balance between working and resting is the key, but this is my 5th year trying to master it. Sometimes I just wonder if the Lord has me in a season where this is not necessarily possible. It does force me to depend on Him for my strength. After lunch is probably my lowest energy time of day, and the more stressed I get the less patience I have with the kids. Frustrations should not be carried between lesson groups, but today I found myself praying before each one came in, because it is so easy to take out my frustration on the incoming lesson group.

This is just a "step-by-step" season for me I guess, and it is something that I don't always succeed in--depending on the Lord for each step of the way. Even coming home from school is sometimes stressful because I don't want to interact with people anymore and I know that that is inevitable when you live with someone!

I know we weren't promised an easy life free of trials and tribulations, but sometimes I wish that in the midst of all this there could be a rest, a "get away from it all retreat down to the monastery" or something similar. In many ways I feel like I've reached my limit, the type of limit where if someone else asks me something music teaching related, I may just lose it. Granted this is not how the Lord would have me react, but sometimes that is my fleshly response. ah well....