Loneliness

"When the morning falls on the farthest hill, I will sing His name, I will praise Him still. When dark trials come and my heart is filled, with the weight of doubt, I will praise Him still."
-Fernando Ortega

"And when I am alone, oh and when I am alone, when I am alone, give me Jesus."
-Give Me Jesus

I am finding that it truly is a sacrifice of praise to stop and acknowledge that He is still on the throne in the midst of my struggles, and that good will come out of this trial. If I don't stop and put it into perspective, than I find myself sinking into a dark pit of despair. There is no doubt about it, I am lonely. A deep set loneliness that I have not dealt with in a long time, because I am always going somewhere and doing something with someone. But strangely enough there is a peace in it--the Lord's grace I'm sure, because there is no way I can escape or run away from this loneliness--I am physically limited.

But in the midst of it this evening, I was reminded that while He was here on this earth, Jesus experienced loneliness; a loneliness so profound that we probably can not comprehend it. The King of the universe, dwelling on earth in a mortal body, surrounded by humans who "didn't get it," and separated from His Father.

Don't get me wrong, today was a good day. It was wonderful seeing everyone at church; holding the two year old and having him be thrilled to see me...but it was also a reminder of how limited I am right now in what I can do. When you are used to being a person who's constantly moving and usually serving...it is hard to just sit still and let someone else do the work. And not being able to pick up kids and carry them around is just plain strange!

But this too shall pass. Praise the Lord for that. Goodnight.